When Marriage Feels Like War: 3 Prayers That Will Hold You Together

Rich Bitterman
A newlywed couple sitting close together on a wooden deck in the forest, heads gently touching, with a bouquet beside them and the word "prayer" written in bold white letters.

The worst fight we ever had didn’t involve yelling.
It was silence. Days of it.

We shared the same house, same meals, same bed. But we were miles apart.
And no one talks about those kinds of fights—the ones where hearts go quiet before they go cold.
The ones that don’t leave bruises, just bitterness.

That night, I sat in my truck, staring at the steering wheel, wondering how we got here.
No one tells you that even good marriages bleed.
Even covenant can feel like conflict.
But it was there, in that parking lot with nothing but my shame and the glow of the dashboard, that I prayed the first real prayer over my marriage in a long time.

And I didn’t ask God to fix her.
I asked Him to fix me.

1. “We Are One—Because You Made Us One”

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6, ESV)

Father,
You didn’t give me a spouse to complete me.
You gave me a spouse to sanctify me.
Marriage isn’t about happiness—it’s about holiness.
You didn’t say we’d always feel close. You said we’d be one flesh.

And today I declare that over our home:
We are not roommates. We are not rivals. We are one.

You joined us—not a government, not a preacher, not emotion—but You.
You fused two stories into one, two names into one legacy, two sinners into one redeemed mystery.

So when the distance creeps in and the words get short,
when we hurt each other with eye rolls and accusations,
when we carry the weight of our wounds in silence—
remind us that we are not two trying to survive. We are one being held by You.

Bind us tighter than resentment.
Weave us deeper than disagreement.
Make us one—not just in status, but in spirit.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

2. “Your Purpose Will Prevail—Even When Ours Falls Apart”

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21, ESV)

Lord,
We had dreams.
And we had plans—some we made at the altar, others in the quiet of late-night talks.
But not everything turned out like we thought.

There have been disappointments.
There have been doors that didn’t open and jobs that didn’t last.
There were prayers we prayed with hands held that You still haven’t answered.

But today I surrender every plan, every timeline, every expectation.
Your purpose is not to make us comfortable—it’s to make us like Christ.
So even when we don’t understand, even when we grieve what might have been,
let us trust that You are doing something in us—through every delay, every detour, every diagnosis.

Let our home be a place where Your plans win, not ours.
Let our hearts be soft when You speak.
Teach us how to pivot, how to follow, how to praise You when we don’t see the whole picture.

Because the truth is—we don’t need to know what’s next.
We just need to know You.

And You’ve never let us down.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

3. “You Are the Strand That Keeps Us from Snapping”

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV)

Jesus,
We’re not strong enough on our own.
We thought we were. We tried to be.
But marriage will humble you fast.

Because two people with baggage, triggers, trauma, and sin? That’s not a fairy tale—it’s a battlefield.
And we’ve felt the fray.

But You never meant for it to be just two.
You’re the third strand.
You’re the glue when we’re falling apart.
The strength when we are done pretending to be strong.
The healing when we’ve cut each other with our words.

So today I declare this over us:
We are not just a husband and wife.
We are a husband, a wife, and a Savior in the middle.

You are not distant. You are not indifferent.
You are here.
In the late-night arguments.
In the dishes and diapers and debt.
In the hard seasons and dry spells and long silences.

So don’t just bless this marriage.
Hold it. Fight for it. Stitch it together with mercy.

We don’t just want a marriage that survives.
We want a marriage that shows the world what You’re like.
Because You didn’t quit on Your bride, and we won’t quit on each other.

In Your name—the name that holds us fast—amen.

Now, Take the Next Step

Don’t just read these prayers.
Pray them—out loud. Together. Right now.
Even if it’s awkward. Even if it’s hard. Even if you’ve got nothing else to say.

Tape them on the mirror. Save them in your phone. Whisper them before you fall asleep.

And if you’re the only one in your marriage fighting right now—fight on.
Because you’re not the only one fighting. Christ is with you.

Reflect & Act

If this prayer helped you, take a moment to reflect. Write down what you’re feeling in a prayer journal—an invaluable practice for deepening your faith.

Here are some recommendations to support your spiritual journey:

Also, consider journaling your thoughts after praying.

Here’s a beautiful prayer journal I recommend for capturing your reflections and prayers.

Explore More

Would you like to deepen your connection with God? Check out my other resources on faith, healing, and spiritual growth:

Affiliate Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. By purchasing through this link, you’re supporting this ministry and helping us continue to bring more content like this.

2 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *